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Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler I went around the country and taped people having sex [Man:] Uh huh [Adam Sandler:] I also taped people workin' out in a weight room man. The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and the different entrees with the dspe-dspe-dspe-dspecials today, and the the and...I'm watching my weight corduroy blues Adam Sandler When I was a boy There was no limit to what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained to weight The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband, you don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there, there, I'm, I'm, the-, I'm, I'm hoo, honeymoon in the Poconos, with the hoo, woo hoo sex Inner Voice Adam Sandler So how do I explain my little cranial expressions Intuition, premonition, or demonic possession? Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler Momma: "Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?" Tracy: "No mom, I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat." Momma: "What? You look beautiful honey. He's crazy." The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie Adam Sandler This fucking boat's got more balls then the fuckin celtic's lockeroom. yeah but it musta cost you like 50 Gs or something. One might think that but guess what? It didn't cost me jack shit. Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler As you may, or may not know, Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection. Listenin' To The Radio Adam Sandler I wish I was arm in arm with Jean genie Walkin' down the aisle Oh yeah, all right But I got no Mary Jane There's no Sloopy or Dancin' Queen I'm just a fool in the rain Waitin' on my Billie Jean I want Calling Home Adam Sandler You mean left or right or... what do you mean? What side of the room? Did you go window or electrical outlet? There's, like, five outlets and the window's in the middle of me and my roommate... The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile." Buffoon: "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that! It was all fucked up!" Dean: "I'm sure it was. Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler Oh yeah, should I pick you up at like seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really kickin.." [She hangs up the phone again] Richie: "Give me a break..." The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler all you candy asses thinkin ya'll real pussies ya'll ain't seen shit yet eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back it's the mother fuckin pussy with the little nutsack don't care about cheddar or four years old Adam Sandler I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass? zitty van zittles Adam Sandler Well I got a pimple and I don't know why It keeps growing in the same place I can't reach it with my left or right hand I wish it was on my face It's four days old And it hurts so bad But it's ready The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler eats together and the CarDeli Bowser form Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli Paul Newman's half Jewish, Glodie Hawn's half too Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew You don't need "Deck the Halls" or Zittly Van Zittles Adam Sandler well i got a pimple and i don't know why it keeps growin' in the same place i can't reach it with my left or right hand i wish it was on my face it's four days old and it hurts so bad but it's ready for the chanuka song Adam Sandler together at the Carnegie Deli Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew You don't need "Deck The Halls" or bad boyfriend Adam Sandler Or a museum? There's an art gallery two blocks away And we've never been there We always do what you wanna do Fuck you! Cool Guy 2 Adam Sandler [SEAN:] So, is your body looking like michaelangelo made you or some shit. [GIRL #2:] Thanks Sean, that's so sweet. Whitey Adam Sandler at a nice price Cuz when I leave the mall, I 'reff' Youth League BASKETBALL and to look your best... never hurts But the greatest thing of all If the truth be told Here at the mall its never too hot or red hooded sweatsuit Adam Sandler , Is it your fifty cotton or your fifty poly? I don't knoooooooww ohh ohh hoo hoo hoo. Best Friend Adam Sandler Dont call you Pit Stains or Marphy (Best friends!) Way back when you waved hello! (Best friends!) Don't hold their nose and point at you (Best friends!) Red Hooded Sweatshirt Adam Sandler , Is it your fifty cotton or your fifty poly? I don't knoooooooww ohh ohh hoo hoo hoo. Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" [Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Why you fuckin' hard on! The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler I wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism." Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl." The Hypnotist Adam Sandler [three farts in succession] Gary Phelps: Are you gonna keep doing that, or...? Dr. Stewart: Hmm? Just concentrate now. That's it. Close your eyes. Keep your eyes closed. Okay. Now. sweat beatrice Adam Sandler hair's up like Conway Twitty's pompadour With the smile of Guy LeFleur She got the ups and downs like an elevator But deep inside she's a marshmellow smore Can bake a cake as big as Jupitor Either or Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler up like Conway Twitty's pompadour With the smile of Guy LeFleur She got the ups and the downs like an elevator But deep inside she's a marshmallow s'more Can bake a cake as big as Jupitor Either/or Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler pickin' daisies ("they'll all be working for you someday") pickin' daisies ("they're just jealous of you") pickin' daisies ("next year you'll go to private school") can't play sports or games, i'm only