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Listenin' To The Radio Adam Sandler I could use a Rosalita If there's a Long Tall Sally out there I'm dyin' to meet her Why can't I hear Beth callin' me? Why can't I be the one to make Sara smile? The Goat Adam Sandler Would you like to live with me? the goat song Adam Sandler Would you like to live with me? The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler Would you like to live with me? Calling Home Adam Sandler When you hand them out to the other kids, you say 'hi, my name's Tyler, here's to a sweet first year at college!' Uh... okay... The Champion Adam Sandler she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head." Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it." The Hypnotist Adam Sandler Stewart: Basically I just want you to sit back and relax let yourself sit back and relax and sink into the chair, and , um, just feel comfortable and trust me. The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler No, to the left! Left? Damn, bitch, do I gotta do everything? Pull down my pants! O.. Okay... Now the tighty whities, pull that shit down too Mmmm.... Watch out now, here it comes! Boing! Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. Whitey Adam Sandler have rigged the hearing lady at Ben and Jerry's Shake Then I go to Pet Land where the manager stands has about to be the dangorous stake Then I pass the tie rack on my way to Radioshack where I pretent The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did. the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler [Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!" Joining The Cult Adam Sandler Sandler: " I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to watch that other show and we watched your show I did that for you!" Allen: "Yeah, well, you kept flippin' back to the game." What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler I used to ride a big wheel. And sell lemonade. Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade. But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D. What the hell happened to me? Inner Voice Adam Sandler weeks of vacation a year If people piss me off I can make 'em disappear Every time I sneeze I get a feature on the news The reporter says "gesundheit" and hilarity ensues And how did I get to be the man the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler mask What it possibly could protect, i do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow People The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson? The Mule Session Adam Sandler pantyhose, yeah I just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times!) four years old Adam Sandler I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass? The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground" [Plane sounds] [M1:] Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride fatty mcgee Adam Sandler M1: "Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library." M2: "Ok, enough talking, let's study!" M1: "All right." [Turning pages] [Heavy steps] M2: "Uh oh" M1: "Oh no! Mr. Bake-O Adam Sandler I'm sit'n in my chair Watching my TV It's not even on But theres plenty for me to see I just lit, some crazy ass shit That my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fuckin wasted It's the best shit i ever tasted mr. bake Adam Sandler I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best ode to my car Adam Sandler Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking corduroy blues Adam Sandler When I was a boy There was no limit to what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained to weight The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir? The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand you are interested in matriculating here in the fall." Welcome My Son Adam Sandler Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed?