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Creepin' On The Mayor Adam Sandler No bushes, no trees, what the fuck!? I'll just hide my ass in this garbage can! There we go, safe and sound... No motherfucker's gonna find me here! Shit, I'll just wash my clothes later! The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler about cheddar or the paper chase i'm a fuckin grown man with zits on my face a straight up chicken shit a pansy ass punk If i'm if i'm guarding your ass it's an automatic slam dunk while thugs are at Sex Or Weight Lifting Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler] : Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler Come on, play with the shit a little Uh, okay... Lower, baby! Gettin warmer... Okay... Let me pull the fatty rolls apart, spring that shit out for ya Yeah, that would help Whoop, there it is! Haha... The Mule Session Adam Sandler My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's Welcome My Son Adam Sandler Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed? zitty van zittles Adam Sandler Well, I had myself a girlfrield For almost two whole years We had no secrets We had no fears There was nothing we wouldn't do When we were in the sack She'd even pop the zit on my back But one Pibb Tries The Skateboarding Adam Sandler Pibb, those kneepads on tight enough? Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend! Uh huh... I'm all set to give this skitchboard a whirl! Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first... Teenage Love on the Phone Adam Sandler Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he doesn't want me on the phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming." Richie: "Ok. Zittly Van Zittles Adam Sandler well i had myself a girlfriend for almost two whole years we had ourselves no secrets we had no fears there was nothin we wouldn't do when we were in the sack she'd even pop a zit on my back one night voodoo Adam Sandler Leaf Blower Man Keep it down for goodness sake It's way too early in the morning Can't you please use your wooden rake? The Cheerleader Adam Sandler We'll be 'cause we're the Tigers, we're out for vic-tor-y - Yeah!" [No response] Cheerleader: "Come on you guys! I wanna hear you!" [Still no response] Cheerleader: "Come on! The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." Cool Guy 5 Adam Sandler Looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby? You want to use me as a blanket? [GIRL #5:] I'm just doing my thing. Cool Guy 2 Adam Sandler [The Sounds of waves crashing] [SEAN:] This is quite the chill night. kicking back on the beach with a fine girl such as yourself. [GIRL #2:] Yeah, the waves are so calming. four years old Adam Sandler I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass? the chanukah song part ii Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Its time for Chanukah So much funnaka To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights When you feel like the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler mask What it possibly could protect, i do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow People The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only The Goat Adam Sandler I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I smell at a medium place Adam Sandler Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls Pibb Goes Surfing Adam Sandler Boy, oh boy, the Hawaiin sea's like a warm cup of java! Temperaturo perfecto as the Africans might say! Yeah, yeah... The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open when it finnally does 40 feet from the ground" [Plane sounds] [M1:] Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride Calling Home Adam Sandler Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow morning in the main gym for us freshmen You playin? Cool Guy 4 Adam Sandler [Sean on the phone with a call-girl.] [SEAN:] What's your name, baby? [GIRL #4:] Desiree. [SEAN:] Ohh, what a nice name for a nice girl, such as your self. [GIRL #4:] What's your name? She Comes Home To Me Adam Sandler stuff three cocks in her cheek But she comes home to me She'll do the groom and the best man She'll slap your ass in the back of a van But she comes home to me She could fuck nine guys in a row But still Crazy Love Adam Sandler a pair of scissors a long time ago (ha-ha-ha) [Adam:] And you don't care that I collect dead animals from the side of the road then pretend they're alive and think I'm a famous football player [Lisa:] Cool Guy 1 Adam Sandler [SEAN:] you got it going on strong, baby. Skin so soft and hair so right. [GIRL:] I think you're nice too, sean. [SEAN:] Let me take off this shirt of yours and see that beauty mama has given you. Right Field Adam Sandler Russel: [Shouting] "Come on Robert! Pitch it in there, baby! We're behind you here in right field! One down! Two to go! Hum it now! Yeah! Show 'em the magic! This chump can't hit!"