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At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. Honey rub your beaver up and down my face. at a medium place Adam Sandler Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls Whitey Adam Sandler Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Booth Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler Put down your sandwhich and beat off your cock and balls for a little bit. Pace yourself." Jimmy: "Oh god." Momma: "Tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?" Oh Mom... Adam Sandler I got invited to a party tonight! And I'm gonna go if that's ok with you." Mom: "NOOO!!" Brad: "Why not Mom?" F1: "Yeah, why mom? He should go." Brad: "It's gonna be fun. steve polychronopolous Adam Sandler - "Polychronopolous" I'm a big fuckin' dick I'm a pain in your ass I drink all your beer I'll eat the last slice I'll give you charley horses I'll pull your shorts down at the beach I always Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?) The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company. The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college." The Hypnotist Adam Sandler Gary Phelps: To be honest with you, I saw your name in the Yellow Pages, and It said you're good at this stuff, so I just, I gotta give it a shot, just kick this whole cigarette thing... Dr. bad boyfriend Adam Sandler I'm not your slave I'm not your mother I'm not your maid I mean I've got a life too So fuck you! Why can't you be nicer to my friend? moyda Adam Sandler Schnine He's a pretty good guy He's nice to his neighbors You can count on him to buy your school candy bars He's a real nic guy He's always got the jumper cables He'll take your mail in when you're sweat beatrice Adam Sandler Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from Best Friend Adam Sandler When I'm at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom's car You tell me the bus already left Cause you're my best friend! The Champion Adam Sandler she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying The Peeper Adam Sandler Oh my, hair's in a pony tail. She picks up the tv clicker. Click. Sitting back. Watching. Watching her watch. Lovin it. She laughs. Hahaha, I laugh. Sharing a moment. Theres her dog, not good. Pickin' Daisies Adam Sandler daisies ("they'll all be working for you someday") pickin' daisies ("they're just jealous of you") pickin' daisies ("next year you'll go to private school") can't play sports or games, i'm only really good at Sid & Alex Adam Sandler [telephone rings] I'll be up in a few! Hello? Hey, Sid, it's Alex. Just callin to wish ya a happy birthday, man. Alex, Alex, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for remembering, thank you. red hooded sweatsuit Adam Sandler But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit." Red Hooded Sweatshirt Adam Sandler I like to rest my hands in your kangaroo pouch, it makes them feel comfy like a big soft couch. And I don't care if the weather's no good, I say "See you later rain" as I pull up my hood. Cool Guy 5 Adam Sandler [Sean pulling up in his car to a hooker] [GIRL #5:] Hey, honey. [SEAN:] S'up baby? Looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby? The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." Calling Home Adam Sandler I'm okay at basketball... baseball was more my thing.... Well, uh, I think they have a pickup game goin on at 10 AM tomorrow morning in the main gym for us freshmen You playin? Memory Lane Adam Sandler a wierdo" [M3:] "Oh my God, that was a little out there, hey check out a water slide, man, those things always remind me of my 13th birthday party, remember that" [all agree] [M1:] "Hey, it reminds The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir? The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler fuckin grown man with zits on my face a straight up chicken shit a pansy ass punk If i'm if i'm guarding your ass it's an automatic slam dunk while thugs are at the party bustin all ya'lls asses I'm hidin The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And The Goat Adam Sandler I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And tells me I smell