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Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler As you may, or may not know, Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection. Mr. Spindel`s Phone Call Adam Sandler ; Student: [Whispering] ";You're in for a big surprise tommorrow during 5th period!"; [Chuckling] Mr Spindel: ";Hey! Who is this!"; [Student Hangs up phone] [Dial tone] Mr Spindel: ";Hullo!" ode to my car Adam Sandler Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!" Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her maternal biology may play a role in that. The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson Adam Sandler [Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson? Right Field Adam Sandler Big whiffer! Big whiffer!" [Whispering] "Oh please, don't let him hit it to me. My God, not to me." [Shouting] "Steam it baby! Steam it!" [Whispering] "Oh God no, Oh God no, Oh God no, Oh God no." at a medium place Adam Sandler around me baby Can't you see I need you so Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you Spit on your hand and stroke my cock At a medium pace Play with my balls and tell me How big At a Medium Pace Adam Sandler Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. Honey rub your beaver up and down my face. Now sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off. You see that shampoo bottle? Inner Voice Adam Sandler I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big breasteses The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler I had to shit all fucking day!" Dean: "Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug, never a pleasurable experience. So have you given any thought to your choice of major?" moyda Adam Sandler library He'll help you find a book on whales He's a thoughtfull man Rememers your birthday Says God bless you when you sneeze But there's a problem It's not your average problem But it's a pretty big red hooded sweatsuit Adam Sandler She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out, "That's too big for you!" the other kids would shout. But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit." Red Hooded Sweatshirt Adam Sandler She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out, "That's too big for you!" the other kids would shout. But we stuck together, we didn't quit, and now the children say, "What a perfect fit." Do It For Your Mama Adam Sandler [Big splash] Jimmy: "Man, that one was huge." J.N.: "You go." [While running towards pool] Jimmy: "Ahhhh, jacknife!" [Jumps in and small splash] Tracy: "That was a dud, Jimmy." What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler I used to ride a big wheel. And sell lemonade. Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade. But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D. What the hell happened to me? Dancin` And Pantsin` Adam Sandler Belvedere Fatty Fatty Finger in his own rear Bernard King Basketball, basketball Showing off his ding-a-ling Swimming Mark Spitz Moustache, moustache Playing with his hairy tits Big Earl Weaver The Cheerleader Adam Sandler The girls volleyball team's got a big game tonight! And we're gonna win 'cause we're the -" Guy in crowd: "Sit down!" Cheerleader: "You guys are assholes!" steve polychronopolous Adam Sandler - "Polychronopolous" I'm a big fuckin' dick I'm a pain in your ass I drink all your beer I'll eat the last slice I'll give you charley horses I'll pull your shorts down at the beach I always zitty van zittles Adam Sandler pop-a-doodly-doo Squirt heedly-hoo Well I'm sitting alone by the phone And no one seems to call I try to scrape my zit off on the kitchen wall Well that don't work, so I look around And find a big Zittly Van Zittles Adam Sandler pimple-ay-hee a pop-a-doodle-e-doo squirt-heedle-e-hoo well i'm sittin' alone by the phone and no one seems to call i try to scrape my zit off on the kitchen wall well that don't work so i look around and find a big the beating of a high school janitor Adam Sandler [Mopping sounds] Mop, mop, mop All day long Mop, mop, mop While I sing this song [Sound of someone walking towards him] Gonna wax the floor Gonna make it shine Gonna take of the spray paint the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler [Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!" Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) Adam Sandler Here in Brockton, Mass., I got my thumb in my ass Mama's combing up a big beehive (Celtics) Where the fuck is he? Where the fuck is he? Cool Guy 4 Adam Sandler [SEAN:] Yeah baby, I'm strong as a bear, I want to wrap my big arm around you... [GIRL #4:] Oh my. [SEAN:] You want to be spinning around for some more lovin' I got for you? The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie Adam Sandler I didn't eat all day, I'm extra fucking buzzed. Pibb Goes Surfing Adam Sandler Pibb It wasn't too painful a paddle out here to the big waves as you like to call em, Sonny! Didn't look it Actually, it was a nice wake-me-up for my laticerace muscles Water's pretty nice, huh? The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler Gramps was a hero in the first World War But he ain't got no dick no more Comes home smokin from the corner pub Makes poor old Gramsy kiss his nub The world spins around like a big bass drum Nanny pops Forgetful Lucy Adam Sandler La-woo-kee-low is the place Where I first saw your face We liked each other right away But you didn’t remember me the very next day Forgetful Lucy Has got a nice caboose-ie I used to trick you The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler while thugs are at the party bustin all ya'lls asses I'm hidin in the corner wonderin where the fuck's my glasses Can't afford no rims my my fuckin dick's so small no bitch can suck it I don't pop 9's The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler the may-mayonaise, make my own sauce, if that's, could bring out a separate plate for that with the chicken, your chicken fried steak...the blue plate special, does that come with the soup of the day