I've never ever been to Black Pool beach
in a giant peach
My arms don't reach
I've never ever got a taxi cab when the fare's not bad
and it's driven me mad
Ohhh
I've never ever seen a fired punk
or an interesting drunk
who's drunk all he can sunk
I've never ever ate a healthy meal
cause there so is a deal
to convenient to be
I've never ever been to Morgan Bay for a holiday
I'll go when I'm old and grey
I hardly ever leave the end of my road
I never answer my phone
I push before the dial tone
I scream at television more than I can
I'm an armchair man
I call myself a fan
I need to get me some of that fresh egg
'fore I lose my head
and I start complaining it's unfair
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
I've never ever been to Black Pool beach
in a giant peach
My arms don't reach
I've never ever got a taxi cab when the fare's not bad
and it's driven me mad
Ohhh
I've never ever seen a fired punk
or an interesting drunk
who's drunk all he can sunk
I've never ever ate a healthy meal
cause there so is a deal
to convenient to be
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me
Look around you look around me