don't know if you've heard
the news but I'm a boy
Who's got himself a problem
so big it's no joy
You see I've something that
people claim
Could bring me fortune and
instant fame
A face so ugly you could
hardly blame
Anybody here for saying so
I think I'll bury
myself deep beneath
the ground
And come up only when
there's no one else around
And if by chance someone
approaches me
And that someone happens
to be a she
You can bet
your life in time of worry
I wouldn't hesitate but
to be that way
Oh why can't girls just
look at me and smile
Instead of looking at
me as though
I will turn my head and
before I go to bed
Gaily underneath the
blanket go
I've even wrote to
Marjorie Proops
but she can't help
The best that
she could offer
me was disguise yourself
Well this I've done would
you believe not twice
But more than once in fact
I think it was nice
So much so when
I'm inclined to hurry
I wouldn't hesitate but
to be that way