No one fights like Gaston
Douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston
For there's no one as burley and brawny
As you see, I've got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
That's right
and every last inch of me's covered with hair
No one hits like Gaston
Matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I'm especially good at expectorating !
Ptoo-ey ! 10 points for Gaston
When I was a lad I ate 4 dozen eggs
Every morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat 5 dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge
No one shoots like Gaston
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes thromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use antlers in all of my decorating
Say it again, who's a man among men ?
And then say it once more
Who's the hero next door ?
Who's a super success ?
Don't you know ? Can't you guess ?
Ask his fans and his five hangers on
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down
And his name's g-a-s...t
G-a-s-t-e
G-a-s-t-o, oh
Gaston