PIGLET

Arab Strap

YOU'D ALREADY BEEN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR WITH YOUR PRE-CLUBBING SHOWER. I HAD ALWAYS PLANNED TO HAVE A LOOK IN YOUR SPECIAL WINNIE THE POOH BOOK. THE PLACE WAS MARKED AND IT WAS THERE IN BLUE AND WHITE - IT JUST SAID SIMPLY, "PAUL STAYED LAST NIGHT."

NEXT I WAS ON THE BOG AND YOU GOT DOWN ON ONE KNEE. YOU WERE PROTESTING YOUR INNOCENCE AND YOU STARTED TO CRY JUST AS I STARTED TO PEE.

YOU SAID, "I DIDN'T SHAG HIM, HE SLEPT ON THE COUCH IN THE KITCHEN. HE MIGHT AS WELL BE A GIRL, HE'S GOOD FOR A LAUGH AND HE'S GOOD FOR BITCHIN'."

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER BE WILLING OR ABLE. AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE WAS MA

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