Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein?
Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein?
Other girls get called by their first names right away
They get cozy intimate... Do you know what I mean?
Nobody calls me "Hey, baby doll!"
Or "Honey Dear" or "Sweetie Pie"
Even my first name would be preferable
Though it's terrible, it might be better: it's Yetta!
Or perhaps my second name that's Tessye
Spells T-E-S-S-Y-E!
But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Oh, I could die!
I'm a very willing secretary
Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate
Except the one disappointment
One fly in the ointment
It's great! I mean simply great!
But the aggravation of my situation
I might as well get it off my chest
It's the drum appellation
Ah, pardon the big words I apply
But I was an English major at C.C.N.Y.
The drum appellation!
Well, literally I am persistently addressed
Persistently, perpetually,
Continually, inevitable addressed!
Believe me I could drive a person
Positively psychosomatic!
Why is it always Miss Marmelstein?
Miss Marmelstein? Mis Marmelstein?
Other girls get called by their nick names right away
Slithly naughty or risqu?
Do you know what I mean? Ha! Ha...Mmmmmmmm!
Nobody calls me "Koo-Chee-Koo" or "Boobala" or "Passion Pie"
Even "Hey There Babe!" Thought not respectable
Ain't no objectable
It's kind of crummy, but chummy
Of course if I got married, that would do it
So, where's the lucky guy? Ha...
Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein!
Every day I get more and more fast
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein!
Oh - I could bust!