Grocery Shopping Like a Tough Guy

Big Bad Tough Guy

Chorus:

I'm just a happy freakin' guy
And I'm at the grocery store
Frozen pizza, cokes and chips,
Hey! I don't need much more.
A couple of beers and a butterhorn
And some chinese food to go.
I'm just a happy freakin' guy
Cruisin through the grocery store.

I stumble to the kitchen in my underwear
And much to my chagrin, I find my cupboards bare.
So I slip into some slippers and I put on a robe,
and it's off to the supermarket I go.

Corn pops, Sugar Smacks, Toasted Nuts and Honey.
Cocoa Puffs, Fruit Loops, and Trix witht the bunny.
Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, one box a day.
I fill up my cart and I'm on my way, because..

Chorus

I got me a cart and it goes real fast, and I'm bookin' down aisle one.
And I got me a list and I'm ready to roll, got to get the shoppin' done.

Now wait right here, I'm the grocery cop, let's see what you got in the cart.
What you got here don't look too good, this greasy food makes you fart.
You got nothing healthy, nothing good and nothing that will make you strong.
Chips and beers and butterhorns, why they'll kill you before too long.

Now wait right here Mr. Grocery Cop, what would you rather do?
Eat nothing but birdseed celery and grits or die with a belly of brew?
Come on now say!..

Chorus

Flintstone vitamins, cool whip, buckbin,
night light, tri-tip, Pampers, bean dip
buttermilk biscuits, toothpaste, lipstick,
creamed corn, tatertots, fruit loops, red hots.
Full cart, loose wheel, sharp turn, oh hell.
Look out, tailspin, here we go again! Auuugghh!!!

Chorus


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