I was sitting in a diner
With a girl named Flo
She wouldn't say yes
But she couldn't say no
She said
Darling,
Can I get a middle man?
She was engaged to a fellow
On the lay a way plan
But she carried all her money
In a coffee can
She said
Darling,
Can I get a middle man?
The cook looked over
With a short order face
Dropped a fork
And he saw Flo's legs
Straightened his apron
And burnt my eggs
I got competition
Everywhere I go
These days
She was leaning on the juke box
And was lookin' real good
L:ike Natalie Wood
On a Pontiac hood
I said
Darling,
I think I need a little hand
Ya see, I've seen my downs
I've seen my ups
I seen miniature dogs
In coffee cups
But
Darling
I ain't never seen a middle man
Flo talked slow
Like real wet paint
She said
A middle man's there
When the other ones ain't
He's got a left handed manner
That leans to the right
Sleeps all day
And keeps it up all night ...
... I got an aunt in Ohio
And a boat that won't row
Some veterans insurance
And nowhere to go
Darling,
Can I be your middle man?
(spoken)
If I could get the money in that coffee can
I could open me up a lemonade stand
Send all the kids off to Pakistan
Make Flo happy
If I can
Jerry Mahoney and Johnny B. Goode
Are gonna buy me a house in Hollywood
Darlin
I think I got the perfect plan
We're gonna save half a dollars
And sell 'em to France
Buy us a record
And learn how to dance
And
Darling
I'll always be your middle
Darling