Gentlemen
we need to sell more papers
There's an answer right
before your eyes
but you're just not thinking
this through
Nunzio knows when
He's cutting my hair
Trim a bit here and then
Trim a bit there
Just a modest adjustment
Can fatten the bottom line
What if we cut back personnel
How about a few salary trims
We could lower
the price of the paper
Bankrupting me even faster
Let me try again
Shaving is tricky The razor
Should float
Shave me too close and you
May slit my throat
Its the simplest solutions
That bolster the bottom line
I've got it If we charge
the Newsies sixty cents
per hundred instead of fifty
They'd have to sell ten more
papers just to earn
the same amount as always
My thought exactly It's genius
It's gonna be awfully
rough on those children
Nonsense they'll be learning
a real life lesson in economics
I couldn't offer them a better
education if they were my own
Give me a week and
I'll train them to be
Like an army that's
Marching to war
Proud of themselves and so
Grateful to me
They'll be begging
to pay even more
When there's dirt
On our shoes boys
For God's sake relax
Why throw them out
All we need is some wax
Listen well to these
barbershop lessons
For they'll see you through
When you're stuck
in the muck you'll be fine
You'll erase any trace of decline
With a trim
And a snip
And a shine
And the power of the press
Yes Once again is mine
The price for the Newsies
goes up in the morning
Just a few common cents
Gents thats the bottom line
Every new outcome
It's income for you
Thanks to that bottom line